Mario Party 69
by AsSRape69
Summary: I'm gonna slap you with my penis.


Mario Party 69

Mario and Luigi were just finishing up sucking each other's dicks or something like that I dunno- isn't that how you were expecting this to go? Also, it wis getting dark.

Mario busted a fat nut onto Luigi's handlebar moustache and exclaimed, "Mama mia! Datza Espicy Meatbawla!" to which Luigi replied, "No homo" and the two prepared for bed.

Mario had a large job to do in the morning tomorrow, unclogging all of the toilets in Toad's mansion, so he needed to get some sleep. But Luigi was being a little bitch and wanted a glass of water, so Mario hopped down a pipe, got his bro a glass and murdered some cheep cheeps along the way. "Ahh just what I needed!" said Luigi and he proceeded to fall asleep.

The next morn Mario and Luigi were driving over to toad's when Luigi had the urge to suck his bro's dick again, platonically of course. When Mario finished in Luigi's greasy italian ass they both went "No homo" like before and it totally wasn't gay at all. The two arrived at a large mushroom shaped mansion ready to do the deed.

"Do the dew." Toad said when he greeted them and the story turned into a commercial for mountain dew.

"Ya' know," said Mario "Dere'sa sumting about deez hot e-summa dayz dat calla for an ice-a cold Mountain Dewa. Edat cool, afresh, lemony taste-a ... dere's justa nothing quite like it." Mario turned the mountain dew logo facing outwards on his can. "E-working out here inna da hot esun all day canna really getta to you afer awhile-a. Take it from me ... Amountain Dew izza da cool refresha you'lla aska for time-a and e-time-a again. MOUNTAIN DEW ... Da sof drink dat standza by izzelf."

"Ooga hooga!" Said Donkey Kong.

"I feel the same way." Said Peach.

"Yeah I'm sorry dawg it's gonna be a no from me too." Said Randy Jackson.

"Awhatta you mean? I no getta da commercial?" Questioned Mario. "Ah fucka you!"

And so Mario was almost finished unclogging the pipes, and a ton of water squirted all over him, and he accidentally ingested some. As he was unclogging dem pipes his plumber's crack was showin, making Toad platonically aroused. When he finished the job Toad had no way of paying him so he sexed his ass real good. Mario spun Toad around on his dick like a helicopter and pissed on him a little bit. Mario finished on his little fungus head. "No hetero," He said. This confused Toad. Was Mario turning gay? He thought. No, It couldn't be. But just to make sure he invited him to an all male platonic sex orgy that he was having tomorrow.

The necks day all them fuckers showed up, Wario, Waluigi, Mario, Luigi, Toad, Yoshi, and even Dry Boner. They all played that dumbass board game from Mario party suckin each others dicks and whatnot. Except they all noticed that it was getting... pretty gay.

"ITS BOWSER TIME YOU FUCKERS!" exclaimed an ugly ass turtle lookin thing.

"Oh no its Alex Jones." Said Yoshi who then farted out an omelette.

"Alex Jones," asked Tiny Tim, "Why are we all being fags?"

He responded, "Just look at tap water, it's a gay bomb, baby."

"Oh a no! We all-a been adrinking da wata diz a-whole time!" Yelled Mario.

"I believe you misunderstood the concept of bowsering time." Said Bowser Jones. And he then snapped his fingers.

Immediately hundreds of gerbils sprang out of everyone's assholes, flying into the night sky. The spewum would not cease. Toad tried plugging his ass with a mushroom but the gerbils just built up and he exploded.

"Holy shit!" Said Dry Boner, who didn't have an ass, so gerbils were just flying out of the very fabric of spacetit itself, which wis breaking down. Stephen Hawking came to explain the scene.

"Matter. Cannot be creAted or destroyed. This violates the very lAws of nature. When gerbils spring Out of dry bOners ass. This should not be possible unless they were being transpOrted via a wormhole."

So a wormhole appeared and started sucking everyone off. It was a dirty whore that had a troubled past and a presumably bad relationship with her father.

"I know how to-a handle diz!" Said Mario. He then took the wormhole out for a nice lunch, but it was all a rouse just to get her into bed with Mario. (he also wanted to prove to Alex Bones that he wasn't gay)

"E-so, tella me abouta youself." Said Mario as he poured his date a drink (with a disco biscuit of course.)

"Well there's really not much to tell. I'm a non-trivial resolution of the Ehrenfest paradox structure linking separate points in spacetime, so there's that I guess."

"I like-a me a good paradox." Said Mario.

"Well then you're a wise fool." And as she said that she passed out from the "quaalude"

Gerbils were still on the shore. They poured out across the land, overrunning the earf's populace with their tiny excrement like an invasive species. Mario knew he must do the deed.

"Imma gonna do-a da dew diz a time!"

Mario then pulled out his Mountain Dew, took a gulp and turned into the gamer version of Popeye, which was basically just a greasy teen covered with acne. He then had low enough self esteem to go and suck the wormhole's trap dick.

He sucked the wormhole's trap dick?

That's right, the wormhole was a trap, and traps are gay so Mario just ended up being gay this whole time.

Alex Jones came up to Mario and said, "Dude, you're like double gay." Everyone laughed and Mario got dick fungus from fucking toad.

"Ohhh! Mama Mia!"


End file.
